Today I want to discuss how to use spiritual technologies such as Basic PEAT to quickly heal after a breakup, divorce or an emotional dependency. I am actually writing a more detailed, step-by-step ebook on this topic, but this article will be a practical summary on how to heal a broken heart.
I found that coping with emotions after a breakup really affected my life: I used to go into a state of emotional and social paralysis, in which my productivity and self-worth plummeted, and develop some self-destructive behavior. Thanks to the healing techniques that I know and teach now, I have become more in touch with my emotions and learned how to release the negative feelings quickly before they become toxic and destructive.
After a breakup or divorce, we tend to get stuck in our emotions. You may remember from my previous posts, Basic PEAT (or Deep PEAT) on the other hand, activates and accelerates emotional release. I want to stress that it is your choice on how fast you want to release any emotion – you can choose to grieve a day, a week, a year, or many years. However, using the techniques covered here, you receive an option of recovering faster. I do not suggest that faster is better for everyone. It is entirely up to you, but it is nice to have a faster option.
I found that most of my clients who come to me for healing after the end of a relationship feel exhausted, frustrated, and resentful because, even though they really want to move on, they are not able to, they feel helpless and stuck. This usually happens because they try to escape or ignore arising emotions.
Psychologists identify 5 typical stages of recovery after the end of a relationship. People experience certain negative emotions during each stage. I found that the only way out of this emotional “stuckness” is the way through. You really need to face all of your negative emotions in order to move on. You can’t just run away from them by getting into another relationship, by drinking your sorrows away, by buying yourself something nice, or by taking a revenge. This will only provide a temporary and partial relief, and will catch up with you sooner or later, often in your next relationships.
So, you can let the emotions run their course one by one until time heals them. This is no longer my choice, as I and most of people in my experience tend to do this over very long periods of times (from 1 month to 5 years). Another choice is using Basic PEAT. Basic PEAT allows you to face these emotions for a very short and compressed time and completely release them in minutes. So, each stage of recovery can be done in days. I found that I was able to help my clients to heal a broken heart on average in 5-10 sessions.
Ok, so let’s review the stages and emotions associated with each stage. Sometimes, these stages do not come in this exact order and sometimes 2 or 3 stages can be experienced concurrently.
5 Stages of Healing a Broken Heart
During this time, your consciousness could be so shocked by the events, that it activates a defense mechanism to guard you from the intensity of emotions, from pain. You may feel numb, spaced out, or empty. You may also feel confident that everything is fine, or that breakup is a good thing for you, or think “I can’t believe this is happening.” To accelerate this stage, you can use Basic PEAT on the feelings of numbness and emptiness or on the thoughts “I can’t believe this is happening” and “this is good for me.”
2. Anger and resentment
After you pass through the denial stage, you usually enter into the anger stage. (Or in some cases, into the sadness and depression stage). During this time, you may feel enraged, upset, frustrated, helpless, and wanting to assign blame. You may feel these emotions toward your former partner (“How does he/she dare?”), the world (“It’s not fair”), or yourself (“It’s my fault”). Society teaches us that it is not polite to express anger in public, and we learn to suppress it. This is extremely unhealthy and toxic, and can prolong your healing process infinitely. I would like to point out here that people who consider themselves nice, suffer during this stage the most, as they feel guilty for feeling angry. As with the previous stage, in order to move quickly through this stage, use Basic PEAT to identify and release all of these emotions. Don’t store these feelings, accept them, and let them all out.
3. Bargaining or negotiating
During this stage, don’t worry if you feel you can’t control yourself, that you are messed up, or crazy. You may want to rescue your relationship or recapture good memories. During this time, you may do anything that would cause an interaction between you and your partner in order to prove to yourself that he/she still cares. This my involve asking to return things, asking for help, or trying to do something vengeful. During this time, you may also blame yourself for the breakup. I will re-iterate, denying these emotions, in order to not appear weak, helpless, obsessed, and just to please other people’s image of view, will only prolong your healing. So, don’t. Instead, use Basic PEAT to address them: admit you feel helpless, weak, and guilty, rate how strong your feelings are, feel them in their full intensity and apply Basic PEAT sequence. The feelings will quickly dissipate.
4. Sadness, depression, grief
You may feel worthless, pitiful, and not deserving love. You may feel and think that you will never be loved again and there is no meaning in life for you. You may not feel like doing anything. You may feel really sorry for yourself and that the world is mean to you. Don’t force yourself to do anything during this stage, allow yourself to grieve. If Basic PEAT helped you in previous stages, you will be more likely to use it again during this stage. So, feel your sadness, your grief, your worthlessness and release them with Basic PEAT. If you feel like not doing anything, do Basic PEAT on this feeling of not wanting to do anything, e.g. “How strongly do I feel like not doing anything?”
5. Acceptance and healing
During this stage, you feel more at peace with yourself, the events and the world. You may feel more confidence and hope. You can use Basiс PEAT to expand and stabilize these feelings. You may also do Basic PEAT on these thoughts “It is safe for me to move on and let go now,” and “It is safe for me to accept change in my life,” and so forth.
Application of Basic PEAT
For a successful application of Basic PEAT, we need to identify as many elements of our experience as we can. The first step is to identify which emotion(s) you are experiencing, how strong they are, and how you feel them in your body. If you have an image of your former partner which comes up in your mind for a specific emotion, use it as well.
Also, in order to accelerate healing of a broken heart, you can apply Basic PEAT to release:
- Thoughts that trigger an emotional reaction in you.
- “I will never fall in love again”
- “I am not good enough”
- “There is something wrong with me”
- “I am to blame for this breakup”
- Attachment to things that you miss about him/her.
- Attachment to things that remind you of him/her (smell, songs, food, activities, clothes).
- Thoughts on what people will think of or say about me being single.
P.S. If you are the person who initiated the breakup, you may also experience negative emotions such as guilt, regret, fear, pain. You can also use Basic PEAT to release these emotions fast.
If you don’t already have my manual “Basic PEAT Manual 2.0 – How To Make a Leap in Consciousness?”, then go to this link http://staastao.com/join If you are reading this article, following the link from the newsletter, you can download the manual from the left sidebar in the newsletter.
Also, you can attend a Webinar on the advanced use of Basic PEAT for personal and spiritual growth. http://staastao.com/cls
I hope you find this article helpful. As always, comments and questions are welcome and encouraged!