I usually write an article or newsletter about goals at the beginning of each year when many people set their annual commitments and intentions. However, noticing that most of my friends and clients experience an early onset of the so-called “seasonal depression,” which usually starts at the end of November and lasts through mid-January, I decided to share some of the spiritual coaching trade secrets on how to elevate these blue moods.
As the end of the year approaches, things seem to slow down, which is very uncomfortable for an untrained, results- and action-oriented mind. And for whatever reason, a light moodiness or “seasonal blues” rolls in. Some people try to justify it by the fact that it gets dark earlier, that the holidays are coming, or that the weather is becoming cold. It may be partially true.
But I’ve learned through my own experience and my work with clients that the reason some of us feel “the seasonal blues” around this time of the year is that we feel unfulfilled, unaccomplished and discontent with ourselves and/or life. The end of the year is usually the time when we get to think about the passing year and compare what we set out to accomplish at the beginning of it against what we actually have accomplished. We also evaluate how far we have moved forward in life in comparison to where we envisioned we would be in terms of relationships, career, money, self-realization, fitness, etc. And in the battle of glass-half-empty or half-full, an untrained mind usually goes for the empty: we tend to focus on what we haven’t accomplished or achieved.
What usually happens is regardless of how much amazing stuff happened, how much progress we have made towards our vision, and how many goals we achieved, our minds want to find reasons about which to be unhappy. If you are like me, and I am only an imperfect human, you may notice that mind has a habit of focusing on things that haven’t worked out, projects that failed, goals that haven’t gotten of the ground, and compare that to other people’s achievements. Such is the nature of mind. It loves to get stuck in the negative and the drama. If you can relate to that, read on. I will explain how to use the Basic PEAT Spiritual Technology to train your mind to release this attachment to the negative, liberate yourself from self-judgement, and shift yourself into gratitude despite all mind’s efforts to drag you into the “darkness.”
What many people don’t realize is that, contrary to general motivational speeches and literature, UNSETTING goals is just as important as setting them. At first glance, it may seem that unsetting goals is like giving up on them, which goes against
commonly accepted slogan “Never give up, never surrender.” But on the other hand, carrying an emotional baggage of unfulfilled dreams and intentions is just as ineffective – if not worse – as giving up on them. Holding on to this emotional baggage eats up our energy and joy and turns us into people who do not believe they can achieve anything.
When we set an intention to achieve a certain goal, we make a promise to ourselves and thus invest some psychic and emotional energy into it. If this goal doesn’t get accomplished for whatever reason later, mind doesn’t easily let go of it. It still keeps a record of it in a form of a failure, usually accompanied by self-disapproval and other negative feelings. When it is just a few of such records, it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but over time, we accumulate hundreds of such small and large records, which turn into a big subconscious emotional baggage. This baggage generally turns into a self-limiting belief and inability to trust oneself to finish anything, which gets triggered and activated when one tries to accomplish even a small easily-achievable goal.
When you are unsetting a goal, you are not necessarily giving up on it. You are releasing your emotional attachment to it, which holds you in the vibration of lack, failure, and self-disapproval. You forgive yourself for not being able to achieve it. You give yourself permission to not be perfect. You feel at peace with where you are now and feel gratitude for things that actually got accomplished, re-enforcing the belief of being able to finish things.
It is healthy to do an inventory of your non-manifested intentions and unfinished goals periodically or at the end of a year, and let go of them in order to free your mind, aura and psyche from mental and emotional baggage that can contribute or cause a “seasonal depression.”
The habit of clearing your slate of old unfinished goals will create space for new energy, invigorate your motivation, and inspire you into action in the new year.
Instructions on Un-setting Goals Using Basic PEAT
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Make a list of goals you wanted to accomplish this year and/or by this time in your life. Start with the most important and emotionally charged goal that hasn’t manifested.
For each goal:
1. Focus on the feelings of disapproving yourself in regard to not being able to accomplish your goal. Or feelings of not forgiving yourself for not being able to achieve it. Or whatever emotions or feelings you are experiencing in regard to not having your goal attained.
2. Rate the intensity of these emotions and feelings on a scale of 0 to 10.
3. Do Basic PEAT process on these feelings until the charge is 0.
Note: for best results, when identifying emotions and feelings, notice and acknowledge how you feel a specific emotion in your body. What body sensations are you experiencing when you are not happy with yourself? Do you feel pressure in your chest or stomach, does your throat feels constrained, or do you clench your jaws? It becomes a lot easier to release negative emotions when you become aware of how you experience them in your body.
If you feel the emotional charge of disapproval and dissatisfaction is still there, you may ask yourself the following additional questions and process these emotional charges:
1. Imagine that you will never achieve this goal, what feelings does it bring up? Shame of what others may think of you or of your goal? Resentment or frustration toward yourself, life, God, the Universe, other people, etc?
2. Rate these feelings on scale 0-10 in intensity.
3. Do Basic PEAT on these feelings.
Instructions on Unsetting Goals Using Alternative Methods
Visualization Exercise on UNSETTING GOALS
Make a list of goals you wanted to accomplish this year and/or by this time in your life. Start with the most important and emotionally charged goals that haven’t manifested.
For each goal on your list:
1. Close your eyes and visualize holding a helium balloon on a roof or a balcony of a tall building.
2. Imagine the helium balloon is filled with your failed goal. Acknowledge emotions that you have about not being able to accomplish the goal, feel them, notice how your body feels with these emotions and place them in the balloon.
3. Now visualize letting go of it and letting it flow up in the air, into space, and eventually letting it disappear into the Universe.
Create Your Own Ritual
For example, make a list of failed goals and burn it, trash it or make a paper boat out of it and let it sail away in the ocean.
If you have feelings of dissatisfaction with yourself or your life at this time of the year and struggling to shake them off, you can also book a short series of sessions in which I will teach you to use Basic PEAT to effectively release yourself from this negativity.